I haven’t written a personal blog post in such a long time. My new years post was a bit personal but still not the same way I used to write when I started this blog.
I’m not sure how many of you are left who have been following me from the beginning but I’m pretty sure that a majority followed my blog because of the personal stories. Whether it was the struggles I had with our daughter and her health, my cats, our family traveling, or other family and home-related stories and issues.
Especially during the past year, I can say that I’ve felt like I turned on my autopilot. Talking about too much personal stuff would require turning off autopilot and thinking about everything. I didn’t feel like reflecting because there was nothing we could do to change the situation. I guess it was and still is some type of survival mode. There is something very truthful in the statement “surviving not thriving”.
I’ve also not been a fan of my husband and I both working at home for this long. There I said it! I’m still not sure if he will ever go back to the office either. I mean you guys probably all know that during the last year, cleaning up after everyone else had taken on an entire new level. Before the house stayed clean for a bit and I had time to tinker around on my projects and blog.
My projects lately
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If you’ve been wondering why I haven’t done much else besides macrame…
Well, it’s not because my blog is turning into a macrame blog. Last year during lockdown I mentioned how it had helped me stay creative and how much I loved working with the yarn.
This year, I hurt my knee in early February skiing and I simply haven’t been able to tackle all the other more labor-intensive projects I want to do. Boy am I glad that I finished my bedroom before Christmas which you can see HERE. I shouldn’t say it is completely finished because I still want to add wooden beams to the ceiling but that is one of those projects I simply can’t tackle right now.
My regular physician had told me to wait for a little to see if my knee would heal. It’s gotten better but is still swollen and causes pain. I can’t kneel on it and am having trouble with certain movements.
I put getting an MRI off for too long because we had so many medical bills lately since my husband’s surgery last year and my daughter breaking her arm snowboarding in December. I finally got the MRI on Saturday which states that I have a “posterior lateral tibial plateau osteochondral fracture with surrounding bone contusion and prominent joint effusion“. I’m waiting to review the results with the specialist tomorrow to see how it can be fixed and heal. Ugh!
So bare with me through this immobile period and whatever craft or other macrame project I come up with while not being able to move the way I want.
I do have a post coming up where I fixed a tile chip in our beautiful new patio table from last year. I feel like I constantly have to fix things others break. I was so angry when my husband and son decided to scrape ice off the tiles even though I asked them not to.
My husband also scratched our beautiful floor while sliding out the stove when I wasn’t home. To me, it would be a given to put sliders under the metal… Not to him!!!
Another project I am planning on doing and hopefully can accomplish with my knee is wrapping my dishwasher in car vinyl to match my cabinet color. Yup you heard that right. I’ve been doing a lot of research on this subject and think it might turn out great. I’m actually picking up some color samples today.
While other blogs that started around the same time I did in 2012 have turned their business into a structure with employees, I have remained a one man show. The back end of what all goes into having a blog and keeping it above water and not drowning in the see of other blogs is driving me a bit crazy and leaving me frustrated.
I’m currently trying to get my blog up to date so Google’s upcoming Core Vitals update won’t ruin my visibility on Google for good. It’s hard enough to rank for anything these days anymore. Big blogs have it easier because they have authority. It’s kind of really unfair because they can write about any subject and rank easily. Explaining all this could take up an entire blog post alone.
For example, my macrame feathers ranked at #1 on Google for a bit until a huge blog did the same exact project and booted me far away from that spot. Thanks so much Google, the big guys always win. Why does it matter to rank highly in search results? Well because you get traffic to your site and traffic to my site means I get paid from my ad network. That is how most bloggers are able to make money while keeping their content free for others to read.
Anyways, this back-end work is the reason I haven’t been able to blog more than maybe once a week or less.
There are different reasons I haven’t written any personal posts for so long. My kids and daughter especially doesn’t like it when I share personal things about her. Not that she had a saying in it when she was little and writing about it helped me a lot, not only emotionally but also because others had great suggestions. After all these years, I can happily say that she is really healthy and the diet changes we made were a game-changer. She is a normal mouthy and healthy 14-year old teenager who is intelligent, ambitious, and driven. If you are new around here and are interested in reading about her struggles with sensory issues, encopresis, and candida from birth to about age 7, then you can check out my posts HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.
The next struggle now is dealing with a teenage girl if you know what I mean 😉 She is entering Highschool in the fall and I am a tad bit scared. LOL!
Our son is heading off to college to study supply chain management in the fall and I can’t even really talk about it because I get so emotional. I never thought I’d be that much of a mess just thinking about it. I will miss him so much. Thankfully he is only going about 1.5 hours away which isn’t too bad am I right? He has always been the one in our household that I can talk to with ease about pretty much anything. Maybe it is because our personalities are so similar. I’m hoping that I will get to the same point with my daughter once she is over her grumpy teenage years.
Like I mentioned before, I took last year as a gift in the end because I would have never been able to spend that much time with my Highschool senior. He feels robbed of his last two years of Highschool though.
Or should I call them my therapists? That’s what I feel they are to me a lot of times. When I’m emotional, upset, or angry they always have the ability to stabilize my mood better than anything or anyone can.
I wish Walter and Willy would have learned over the years to like each other which they haven’t. They still fight daily and Willy is frustrated with Walter stalking him. Willy isn’t giving up his boss guy position yet though.
Willy has increasingly gotten the urge to wanting to go outside, and I’m not talking about his catio. Thanks to my husband’s mistake of leaving the door open and finding Willy in the neighbor’s yard, he now has a taste for the rest of the outdoors. He stands at the door daily now and scratches at it to see if he can open it.
I’m so thankful that he didn’t run far. He is my little bottle baby and we have a special bond.
I have mentioned before why we don’t let our cats outside in the neighborhood and why I built the cat enclosure, to begin with. We have a shooting range very close by, roads, nasty neighbors who trap cats and dump them in the woods, and neighbors who poison rodents which lead to my one and only indoor/outdoor cat dying of sudden kidney failure due to poisoning at age 5.
With that said, I have been contemplating if I should leash train my Willy but I know that can just make things worse with him wanting to get outside. I’m just not sure if I should try or not. A lot of my friends on Instagram have said that trying to take their cat out on a leash has only made things worse.
My Family traveling
I miss my German family so very much and am beyond glad that I had the intuition to see them quickly last February on my own. I had no idea Covid would hit but had the strange urge to go during an unusual month. When I returned chaos started in March 2020.
My parents who are in their 80s are finally vaccinated now and I have been begging them to come and visit us this summer.
I don’t know how much we will be able to continue with our yearly Germany trips and that’s not only because of college bills but the fact that our daughter also wants to be home for her summer Highschool soccer training in order to make the team. Everything is changing and uncertain right now which tends to really make my anxiety worse. I try not to think about everything but at night when I am awake in bed and can’t sleep all the worries and fears creep up on me. I know I’m not alone.
So this was it in a nutshell. I’m basically trying to stay sane and take it day by day.
Hopefully, I will get back to moving around normally again soon so I can tackle more labor-intensive projects. I forgot to also mention that I want to build a little shed at the side of the house and enlarge the cat enclosure when I am better.