27 Comments

  1. Thank you for your kindness toward Anthony. I hope he will come out of his shell – he would be lucky to live with you and your family. He is a beautiful boy.

    1. I know people always say don’t pick a cat just by the look and I definitely fell in love with his photo and description. People always say that the cat picks you. But Anthony would never pick anyone because he is so shy. I hope this will work out. It’s definitely not an easy road ahead.

  2. What an adorable face! I know that, for you as a true cat lover, it must make you sad to see Anthony going through a difficult transitional phase. I hope he soon starts to see what a wonderful home he’s been welcomed into. We just want to do so much for them, don’t we?

    1. Thanks Alison, I hope my other cats will come around too because now they are sensing a scared cat with no confidence and they are being jerks.

  3. Aw! That sweet boy is just breaking my heart!!! I so badly want him to settle in and make your house his home!!!! You all are on my mind constantly. I’m praying he warms up and relaxes!!!!

    1. Thank you Emily. I pray he will too

  4. aaaaw i am crying because you are such a good and beautiful person. i know it will just take time… poor anthony but he landed in the right place.

    1. Lots and lots of time 😉

  5. Susan logan says:

    I still think give him some more time. You knew this one was going to be a challenge and challenge he is. He needs your love and I’m a firm believer love conquers all! You are a saint!

    1. Oh I will definitely give him more time. And he does have my love. I didn’t fall in love with him over a year ago for nothing 😉 It just breaks my heart to see him suffer.

  6. With your love and patience, he will get over his shyness. Please don’t give up on him. Anthony needs you and the family. It was meant to be since you couldn’t get him out of your mind all of those months. He will be fine.

    1. I promise I won’t and I didn’t want it to sound like I was, I just don’t like seeing him being so upset.

  7. Hi Julia, I think you are doing very well, what is a reasonable amount of time to humans does not always add up for cats – Anthony will slowly open up in his time, it could take a while but I truly think you are on the right path. Keep up the good work, cats like this just need time, I’m sure there will be little surprises once he starts for settle in, even if that is many months….. he just isn’t sure about everything yet is is very slowly digesting his environment. Kelly Wilson (NZ horse whisper has had wild horses she can pat within 1 week and some that have taken 200+ days..) he will be OK just give him the time he is asking you to give him. The beautiful thing about any animal is that they don’t lie and they show you exactly how they are feeling. What a handsome cat his eyes are so expressive. take care

    1. Yes they don’t lie which is probably why I’m so upset when I see him suffer. I will give him the time he needs plus my female cat will need time too because she is being a jerk.

  8. After reading your post it reminds me of what I went through with a cat I adopted. When I brought him home, he was terrified. We couldnt make him comfortable. I put him in our guest bedroom and he stayed under the bed for 12 days. During that time I would go into the room and sit on the floor but never tried to look at him or touch him. By day 11 he started to come out and look at me but I stayed still and did not make eye contact. By day 12 he finally decided he was safe and is now the most affectionate cat we have. Give Anthony a bit more time, he just might come around. Good luck with it!

    1. That really gives me hope Debbie! Thanks so much for the encouragement!

  9. Amelda Butler says:

    Adopting for a shelter, promoting spay-neuter & especially helping educate & shed light on TNR & providing proper care for community cats.
    I admire all the work you do for cats !!

    Can you go to the shelter & bring home one of Anthony’s pals ?? You’d still be in single digits wouldn’t you 🙂
    Sorry that’s the only thing I can think of ?

  10. It can take time and he will probably always be a little shy. I have one similar to him and it took a really long time and still sometimes I swear he looks at us when we come home like ” Do I know you?”. I think the bathroom was the right choice, smaller areas for cats like these tend to be better for socializing them.

  11. Hi Julia. I love that you took a chance on a shy cat. We did that, too. I was afraid the shyest cat in the litter wouldn’t get adopted, and since we’d adopted a feral cat before her, I knew we’d be able to work through any of her trust issues. I’m certain you’ll be able to do the same with Anthony.

    Our local shelter uses Sentry calming cat collars. (I think you can get them at local pet stores or from Amazon.) I know you’re already using Feliway, but maybe that in combination with the collar will get Anthony acclimated more quickly.

    Good luck!

    1. Thanks I’ll look into that.

  12. Hi – I know lots of people have offered lots of suggestions; my suggestion is just unlimited time. Some cats take much longer than others to settle in. But even if it’s a VERY long time, it’s a far better home life for him than the shelter, no matter how lovely the shelter may be. The shelter will always have dozens of new smells, other feline personalities to navigate, all kinds of daily strangers and novelties which are the opposite of the routines cats like best. Just please don’t give up on him. I took in a feral pair. One took well over a year to become truly bonded with me, and the other… closer to ten years. Really! But winning over the heart of a creature THAT mired in fear, even if it takes such baby steps that ten years can pass… what a sense of accomplishment and gratitude when it does finally happen! Watching a cat be afraid is heartbreaking; but we are the human caretakers, and we have to use our ability to think past the immediate reactions of shyness, fear, and retreat, to remember that what we offer the cat is ultimately far far superior to a group shelter setting. He will come around, but only when he’s ready, in his own time. And all you can do is exactly what you’re already doing, which is offering the patient, loving, safe environment he needs to blossom and develop into the cat he really is, just currently trapped in a bubble of fear and anxiety. The absence of any real reason to be afraid, any real evidence to support his anxiety is what slowly but surely erodes his emotional walls and lets him become a free, fully-fledged spirit. Please don’t give up; if someone as kind as you can’t wait long enough, no one can, and he’ll live out his life without a forever home, which is a lose-lose situation for everyone. Best of luck.

    1. Thanks so much for the pep talk. I had to show my husband your comment because I think that’s what he needed.
      You put it into words so perfectly. I totally agree about the shelter setting. I hope I can report one day how Anthony is wandering around in our catio and bathing in the sun with my other cats because that’s what I’m truly hoping for.
      I won’t give up on him. There is a reason I fell in love with him and couldn’t get him out of my mind. Like someone else said. It was meant to be.

  13. the cape on the corner says:

    what a sweetheart. i am sure he will come around to you once he sees you aren’t going anywhere!
    b

    1. Yes that’s what I’m hoping

  14. Keep us posted! I am so grateful you took this handsome boy home. He will be okay! Just needs love and time. Both of which it sounds like you have in spades. Take care and give him the space he needs. He will shine and be snuggling in your lap in no time!

  15. Mary Jaeger says:

    Many years ago we adopted a feral kitten who had fear/anger/aggression issues along with mysterious health problems. Scruffy Flopdoodles also was very uncoordinated. His behavior when frightened was so terrifying that we were advised by well-meaning folks to get rid of him. (I coped with his violent aggression by placing an empty plastic laundry basket over him until he calmed down.) He had trouble transitioning from the bottle to kitten food; he would stand inside his litter box and direct his urine outside the box. His vet thought he might die his first year. Well, you get the picture. The kitten who couldn’t bear to be touched became the cat who loved sitting on laps, sharing the bed and giving “nose kisses”. He learned to walk on leash and ultimately to “heel” off leash. He was a burden and then he became a joy. He learned to enjoy his life. It took a long, long time and much work. I’m telling you this, Julia, so you can be encouraged in your journey with Anthony. I will be sending good thoughts your way. One last thing, Scruffy not only didn’t die his first year he lived to be nineteen. Sometimes you gotta bet on the underdog.

  16. Sharon Depcinski says:

    Check out EO Vet on Facebook–she has some good info about safely using essential oils with cats and documents a case of a cat who wouldn’t come out at the shelter until they used EO’s. Maybe something to consider trying…

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