Saying goodbye to our first kitty
I don’t even know how to start this post and I’ve been dreading it because it makes me sad. Probably most people don’t even care about reading it but I feel like I have to write it, at least for my friends here who care about their furry kids as much as I do.
If your follow me on Instagram (HERE) and Facebook (HERE), then you saw already that we had to say goodbye to our first cat Heidi.
This is what I wrote:
At 22 years old, I knew it was coming. She was the oldest patient at our veterinarian’s office (who’s also my husband’s cousin). Her health had been steadily declining and I could see her spark fade.
My husband and I had gotten her when we first moved in together 19 years ago. She was an adorable grey leopard spotted and scared Manx. She was severely scared actually and hated being around men. She spent the majority of her time under our bed and at the beginning only came out if I was home alone. She slowly warmed up to my husband when we all snuggled on the couch and bed and after years finally warmed up to other men coming to our house. I don’t know what was done to her in the three years before we adopted her but it was something bad.
We spoiled her rotten with toys and love.
We got her a little baby friend and kid in Lilly and later Lucy too. ( I feel ancient with these old photos, thankfully my photography skills have improved)
And over time she turned into the most loving and sweet companion who slept in bed with me every night. She used to wait by the stairs every night and stare at me until I walked upstairs to bed with her. This all ended when I decided to replace the carpet upstairs with hardwood bamboo two years ago. It was so odd to me because we have hard floors downstairs too and she was used to them. Maybe there was some type of chemical smell she didn’t like?
But in the last three weeks before her death , she decided she liked going upstairs again to spend time in our bedroom again, even if it took her a long time to climb those stairs with her old lady wobble. Cats are really silly with their odd preferences that can change by the slightest interruption in their habits and schedules.
So when I got up last Thursday and saw her, I just knew that this was the awful day I had to say goodbye to her. She tried to walk over to me and collapsed on the carpet. She was then just laying there making crying sounds and looked at me with sad eyes. I always questioned not knowing when it was time but in that moment I knew I couldn’t let her be like this and that at her age there wasn’t anything else I could try to do to keep her alive. At some point I would just be selfish to try to keep her with me.
I never pictured that it would just be me and her on that final ride to the vet but I guess it was just us when I adopted her. She was my little best friend and I owed her that much. I certainly will never ever forget that last moment with her.
She’s the old grandma in the top plate (click HERE for the Etsy shop).
I will always remember her as a healthy, fat and happy old lady with her beautiful green eyes.
And I can’t imagine that she was a forgotten cat at some kill shelter where nobody wanted her. I just hope that more people can see the potential in those scared animals at the shelter and stop spending money at breeders.
She will be cremated and we are keeping her ashes. What do you do with your beloved pets when they pass?
Yes we have been thinking about adopting again because our daughter wants nothing more than a cat who wants to play and hang out with her. Our 18 and 19 year old cats certainly do not. But I’m also scared that another furry family member wouldn’t fit in the way our furry girls loved each other. For some magical reason our stray Monkey (click HERE for her story) fit in so easily and that isn’t the norm. Cats this old don’t transition that easily usually.
I know that if my parents read this blog post they will be angry with me for even considering another cat again but we can’t help it and I’m glad my husband thinks the same way. I’d love to have a dog one day too but I don’t think that will ever happen because we travel and it is easier to just have someone watch a cat. Cat’s are like teenagers and dogs are like toddlers, at least that’s what I always say and think.
At the end of this post I just want to say again that I will never forget this special little cat of ours and how much love she has brought into our family.
Tschüß,
(Youleeya)
I’m so very sorry, Julia. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved cat and I have tears in my eyes. It’s wonderful that you adopted sweet Heidi back then and gave her a loving home for so many years. She couldn’t have asked for a better Mom.
Sending you a big hug,
Julia
Thank you Julia.
So sorry to hear about your loss. When I had to say good bye to my 20 year old cat Angel, it was the most difficult decision, but also the right one. You loved her so and she knew that. She knew she could depend on you knowing when the time would come. It’s hard to loose a furry friend, especially one who has been with us through so many big life events.
It is so so hard and yes I knew when it was time. Thanks Karin.
I understand completely! We love our fur babies so much – and they love us – unconditionally! I have two rescue dogs and one big, beautiful white cat – Coal; plus 5 barn cats. Can’t imagine living without them.
Please follow your heart and rescue another cat ASAP.
I filled out an adoption form today with my daughter 😉 so yes it’s in the future. Thanks so much and I agree, it’s unconditional.
So sorry for your loss. We went through this last July with our beloved Jackson. Still miss him. Since we lost him we have fostered for a rescue and adopted another cat.
I will miss her forever and ever and never forget.
Oh Julia, I can’t imagine how hard this is on you. She was just beautiful. Glad you had so many lovely years together
Thanks so much Ashley. It is but it’s also such a great comfort to know she had such a great long life.
Our furries make our lives better! I am so sorry and no how much you must be hurting!
Yes I’m hurting but taking great comfort in knowing that she had a wonderful long life. Thanks so much
SHEs over the rainbow bridge waiting for you! Sorry for your loss.
Thanks Christine
Oh Julia, so sorry to hear this. Our pets are a big part of our family, it’s so hard when they have to leave us. Thank goodness you found her when you did and you gave her a wonderful life. Hoping your heart heals fast.
Thank you Mary, I will hug my other kitties even more.
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain. I’ve lost two cats and keep their ashes on my desk. I still cry every time I think of them. I am a mom to five cats and a dog, and they are everything to me. Cats are amazing.
RIP Heidi ????
I still cry when I see all my kitties and puppies that have passed. I’m so glad that my parents taught me to love them the way I do. Life wouldn’t be the same without them.
HUGS! Just keep swimming… just keep swimming…..
thank you and I will
So sorry for the loss of our beloved kitty. I know she will be greatly missed. I too have lost several fur babies. I had a Siamese cat that I found abandoned and kept her for 18 years. I know the pain you are going through. You are a true blessing to animals, especially cats. Thanks for sharing, we all feel your pain. Heidi was one lucky cat to have found you.
Thanks so much Pamela. I really appreciate it
Really sorry for your loss. I am glad that you shared this with us. Pretty amazing to have had her for so long. I’m sure that you have incredible memories to help you through this difficult time. She was beautiful.
I will miss her beautiful green eyes, sweet soul and jiggly belly but I take great comfort in knowing that she had a great long life.
It’s so hard to lose a loved one, doesn’t matter if they are 2-legged or 4-legged. Many furry hugs, this brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks Kara and I so agree
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. I understand the loss and many of us do. Today is the 3rd anniversary of the loss of my best furry friend. She will always have a place in my heart and will always be the best cat I’ve ever owned. It’s hard to even write this…..
I’m so sorry for your loss too. It’s not easy
I was crying reading your post. So sad when their time comes. I am glad you saved her and gave her a great, long life.
Thank you Kathleen. I get so so sad when I see how many other ones need a home too.
I am sorry for your loss! It made me cry! Thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you Miranda, I really appreciate it although I didn’t want to make you cry 🙁
I am so sorry for your loss, such a precious part of your family. Even as I am writing this, my eyes are filling up with tears!!I am sending my prayers to you and your family. Xo
Thank you Kathy. I so appreciate it
I am shedding tears. I am so sorry you lost such a wonderful friend.
That last day will forever be edged into my mind. It was awful but I’m taking really great comfort in knowing she had a great life.
My heart goes out to you….I’m so sorry for your loss
Thanks Debby
What a beautiful, sweet girl! I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m glad that you found each other! 🙂
Thanks Emily
So sorry for your loss. I have had to say goodbye to a few of our cats over the years, our oldest living until 22. It s heartbreaking to lose them, they are members of the family. Even though I keep saying each time no more adoptions I can’t help it when we see one at the vet that needs rescuing. We currently have three kitties. You gave her a wonderful life and she knew it. Good luck looking for your next rescue.
Thanks Diva and I know exactly how you feel. You just can’t resist those pleading eyes when they look at you and you know that it won’t just be you giving them love. They return it in so many more ways. I couldn’t live without them. Thanks so much for your heartfelt comment. I really appreciate it.
It is so hard. I am so sorry for your loss. She was certainly a beloved family member.
Thank you
Oh, so very sorry for your loss. Pets are like our little children. May you find comfort. another little angel flew.
Yes they are exactly like my children. Thank you so much
I lost my kitty a couple years ago to bladder ailments and sometimes I feel I see his tail as he goes through the room. I miss him everyday! We cremated him also and I’m just glad I have a little piece of him. He was so beautiful, my Rory! I’m so sorry for your loss Julia!
So sorry for your loss and rest in peace Rory. I have these little moments too where I think I hear a meow or my one cats collar jingle. We have to cherish those memories.
I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful though that y”all had found each other and had such a good life together. I have had cats all my life and have been in your shoes many times. It is heartbreaking because they are a part of the family. I still think about and grieve for every cat I have had that has passed on. As far as adopting again I say YES! Somewhere there is another cat out there that desperately needs you. Take care.
Donna
Thanks Donna and we are saying yes for sure, there is no doubt about that. I can’t live without them.
I’m so sorry for your loss Julia. Heidi was a beautiful cat and you gave her such a loving home. Thank you for sharing your fond memories of her. Hugs!
Thanks Kathy, I really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry.. We have two kitties and they are fine but we also have a Westie, Stevie the Wonder Westie, who we may have to say auf wiedersehn to tomorrow. He is only 10 but I guess that is 70 in dog years? It just seems so young! He seems to be going the same way my dad did (prostate issues) and we will know how bad it is after an ultrasound-guided biopsy tomorrow. It’s so hard when our fur babies don’t talk and tell us what’s going on…he just started peeing blood this morning and we dashed to the vets but it doesn’t look like bladder/kidney issues and is most likely prostate. Ugh. Too much loss in our family. Sorry, I didn’t mean to drag on…just reading your post hit home today. I hope you can read this okay? For some reason your posts are coming up in about 4 point print (on my PC)…
I’m glad you had so many years with your Heidi…it’s what all of us can hope and pray for…. By the way, our Stevie is a rescue…we got him at age 4!
Oh no Kimberly, I’m so so sorry. I pray that he will be ok. 10 is still too young, I agree! Even though it is 70 in dog years. They should live so much longer. I will be thinking of you. Stay strong!
julia, you know how very sorry i am. there is nothing like the love of a pet. thinking of you and your family.
Thanks my friend, I know and I really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your furry family member. We have a 20-year-old kitty who just went through surgery, and everyone at the vet is always so surprised to find out how old she is. She’s a tough little thing with a lot of sass, but we never know just how much longer she’ll be with us. It’s so hard when we have to say goodbye to them. Hope you find some comfort in your memories of Heidi with the pretty green eyes.
Oh wow 20 and having surgery. I hope you have many more years with her. Bless her heart and thanks so much I really appreciate it.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved kitty! I have been through this myself several times and it is always so difficult and heart breaking. Since you are thinking about adding another cat back into the mix, I encourage you to consider adopting a male kitty. We have two older girl cats, and last summer we adopted an orange tabby baby boy kitty from our local shelter. Our two girl cats have adjusted well to him; I think they cut him some slack because he’s a boy! It helps that he is a sweet and loving little guy who just wants to be their best friend. I guess orange tabbies have a reputation for being sweet natured and laid back (or maybe we just got lucky), We are all absolutely smitten with him! Again, I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Heidi! I hope that your sadness will eventually fade and be replaced with all the lovely memories that you have of her.
Thanks Carla, I really predicate it. We used to have a male Maine Coon and they didn’t care for him although he was the sweetest funniest guy. We adopted another female stray that showed up at our door and she fit right in. So I was scared that they liked females better. But who knows! I agree though that orange tabbies are the best. My friend has a male orange tabby and he is the silliest most lovable dude ever. But, there is no doubt that we will be adopting again…that is for sure.
I’m so very sorry to hear this Julia! I just had to make that same decision with our dog Furby (and with Sunny a year and a half ago) so I know clearly what you’re going through! Hang in there, it is one of the hardest things we animal loving mamas have to do. Now it’s just our two cats and we do love them dearly! Thinking of you sweet friend…
Oh no Summer, I didn’t know you had to do the same thing. It’s awful but we gave them a good life with lots of love and thats what matters right?
I’m so very sorry for your loss, Julia. Sounds like your nineteen years with beautiful green-eyed Heidi were filled with many wonderful times.
Thanks for showing the plates. I have seen them in images of your wall, but as a relatively new reader I didn’t know of their connection to your cats. Great idea!
Seems you have many cat lovers reading your blog. My two are both 17 years old.
Thanks Shari, yes I have many cat lovers reading my blog. They might not like all my design decisions but I can cunt on them when it comes to my cats. I love that so much.
So sorry for the loss of your beloved cat. Pets are special and a part of the family.
Heidi was lucky to have someone to love and care for her for so many years.
Thank you
I teared up before I even started reading the post, Julia. What heartache! She was such a beauty too. Keep adopting; it’s a wonderful thing to do.
Thanks Ursula, she was my little beauty for sure and she is dearly missed.